I leave for Cairo in less than two months. When did THAT happen?!
I’ve wanted to do this photo project since November. I want to teach photography to people who live in the “Cities of the Dead.” Unfortunately, I’m not on top of my game and as a result, I can’t pull this together. Grant opportunities have passed. Foundations have not responded to my proposals. Research leads to dead ends.
And this is what I was afraid of. I’ve told people about this project, I’ve written essays about it, I’ve been working to prepare everything in my head and in writing, but I’ve done nothing to set it in motion. And because I’m such a lazy little shit, I can’t get this project off the ground. And I feel like I’ve failed. Almost everyone I know is doing something great to help humanity, and I’m trying. I’m really trying because I really want to do this. It seems, however, that I didn’t want it enough.
This sucks. Why does it seem so hard to help people? Why can’t I just have the money and resources I need? Is it really so much to ask for? (Yes, yes it is.) I guess it’s my own fault for making it this hard for myself.