Reasons I Shouldn’t Be Alive

I was talking with my manfriend/boyfriend/person/thing the other day about all the reasons I shouldn’t be alive for evolutionary reasons. He suggested it be my next blog post. So here it is: the list of reasons why I shouldn’t be alive/why I’m an anomaly.

1. I’m allergic to lots of foods: peanuts, peas (sometimes), soy (sometimes), red bean, sesame paste, sesame oil (sometimes), poppy seeds (sometimes), legumes in general (sometimes)

2. I have bad eyesight.

3. I have bad teeth.

4. I have asthma.

5. I’m bi-racial (hundreds of years ago the Chinese wouldn’t have mated with the Irish)

6. My mom is a lesbian (there’s nothing wrong with that. it just seems unlikely she would’ve had me if she had realized it earlier)

From an evolutionary standpoint, I really shouldn’t be alive. But thanks to modern technology and social evolution, I’m here! And I better have a purpose.