Erased Me From Your Memory

I’ve had a few interesting conversations the past couple weeks. They all seem to revolve around the theme of change and growth. As I’ve written here before, I can’t believe I’ve done what I’ve done. I took a huge leap of faith and started from scratch in a completely new city. I remember people telling me that I wouldn’t like Atlanta, or that I was making a poor decision to leave my connections behind, or that I’d miss New York City too much to make it in a new place.

Whether or not these things are true, I like feeling like I proved people wrong, or at least that I impressed them with how amazing my life is now. Sure, in NYC I’d probably be doing something I love, like working for a non-profit or a film festival. In other aspects of my life, however, I don’t think I would’ve challenged myself. In Fall 2009 I started taking belly dancing classes with a friend and I loved it. I continued to go on a regular basis, but I eventually stopped going because it didn’t really fit into my routine I had created for myself. And I remember being really sad about it because I felt like that belly dancing class represented a part of me I felt was lost or stunted.

Here in Atlanta, my job certainly isn’t the highlight of my time here, but I’m doing things that make me happy. I feel like I’m growing as a person. I definitely have my regular bar and I don’t go out all the time to try new places with my roommates, but I’m twirling baton, which has been a dream I shelved years ago. I never would’ve pursued this in NYC or even California like I have here. Turnin’ TriXXX has opened my eyes to the things I can do. Silly sounding, I know, but I never would’ve committed myself to something like this if I even had a hint of structure or routine to my life.

see? life is good for me. i'm awesome.

I guess my point is this: you can’t hate on people who feel like drones in their own life. I’ve been there, and it feels super lame. I wouldn’t suggest you leave everything behind tomorrow to learn to play some obscure instrument in some rural Indian town, but I would encourage you to leave your routine behind. I still have my routines, like making myself eggs and toast every morning before work, but I genuinely feel like every day is a clean slate.

Try it. You might like it.

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2 Responses to Erased Me From Your Memory

  1. kat c says:

    great words of encouragement. i hope to grow balls soon and just fucking do something whether be a drone or pick up to a new town like ive been wanting to.
    thank you for sharing

  2. Thad says:

    SterYee,

    This really stuck with me. I definitely feel like a “drone” sometimes but truthfully I’m used to it. I’m not really big on change and I KNOW I need to work on this, but I haven’t found my catalyst to push me to blow up my routine.

    I really want to find it though. I’ve always told you that I admire you because of your ability to know what you want and to go get it! I admit that I was dismayed when I found out you were moving to Atlanta, but I don’t think I was worried about you because I knew you would find your way! I’m so glad you did! Continue to enjoy life and keep us in the loop! You never know how your experiences may motivate someone else to try something outside of their comfort zone!

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